So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
