I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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