so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
