Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
