If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
