I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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