they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
