Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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