i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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