Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
