My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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