If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
