I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
