I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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