I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
