If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
