So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
