it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
