from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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