i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
