allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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