Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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