That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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