I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
