your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
