my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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