i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
