you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
