So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
