He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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