Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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