my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
