I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
