she smelled like a LAN party
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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