he shaved USA in his pubs
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
