I wanna passion pit in your ass
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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