What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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