so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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