Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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