don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
