oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
