Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My life is pants optional.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Panties = found
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
