Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
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