he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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