There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
