shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
