@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Let's paint friendship bongs
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
dude. I can hear the air.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
