oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
