it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
