Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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