rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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